Mollyisms

Holding a giant dead bee she found.

Discussing the intricacies of the new distracted driving law in Alberta.

Andy - Does eating count as distracted driving?

Me - Yes, but the important thing is not to let the cops see you.

Molly - Yeah, if you drive by a fox, put your sandwich down. They are meat eaters. You shouldn't eat in front of meat eaters.

While Andy was looking at getting a new cologne.

Me -That smells really fruity for a men's scent.

Andy - They are really into unisex fragrances right now.

Moly - Yeah, that smells like boys fruit.

2 weeks later (after Andy had just put on his cologne and was kissing Molly goodbye)

Molly - Goodbye stinky boy fruit.

Mom, you know what we're going to do today? We're going to buy the oranges that look like they have butts (apricots).

On the vital importance of bandaids.

Mom, did you know the big giraffe died?

Yes it died last week.

What did it die from?

It was old.

Maybe it was bleeding. It was bleeding and nobody put a bandaid on it. That's why it died.